My personal struggle with emetophobia and how to overcome phobias and anxiety

Tomorrow is Time to Talk Day, an initiative organised by Time to Change, a social movement who aims to change the way we all think and act about mental health problems.  Some of you may have seen a few of my recent social media posts and blogs where I have mentioned that I have been having a very low period of depression and anxiety.  I also explained in my new year blog post that I wanted to be more open and honest on my blog so Time to Talk Day seemed like the most appropriate time to share and talk and may be help someone else.

I have never gone public with this.  In fact I didn't even really know it had a name until I was nearly 30.  But I suffered most of my childhood, through my teens and well into adulthood, well until quite recently really.  I have emetophobia which is the fear of vomiting - it can include a fear of vomiting oneself in private or public, a fear of seeing vomit, a fear of watching or hearing the action of vomiting and a fear of feeling nauseous.  

In addition I do have episodes of anxiety, mild depression and insomnia.  I also had post-natal depression and I have had anxiety and low mood associated with hormone imbalances during peri-menopause.  The phobia is less of an issue in my day to day life now but depression and insomnia continue to plague me from time to time and I am still working on the best ways to deal with it when it does reappear.

But this is me, this is the bit that no one apart from my closest family and friends see, this is the me I usually keep private and if I do tell someone, I am usually met with surprised 'but you seem so confident!'  I have also accepted that I am an introvert, that I don't enjoy big events and I don't enjoy too much social media visibility - like changing room selfies!

I am currently in the midst of a particularly bad episode of low mood / depression and so opening up about my struggles helps me cope a bit more and find some perspective.  Last year was full on for me with, among other challenges, waving my daughter off to university then the long Christmas and New Year period with two bereavements and an even longer grey January.  Thank goodness that is over.   On my walks this week I have seen signs of spring.

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