How to successfully talk to your partner about using support in the bedroom

Collaborative Post | As we age, sometimes things don't work the same way as they did in our twenties. Thankfully, medical science can help us to ensure the flames of passion can be kindled and stay kindled with relative ease. By talking to your partner in a supportive and loving way about these things, you can help them get the support they need to bring the passion back.

We might not talk about it very often, but of the many things that change as we age, romance and passion are high on the list. It might not be true for everyone, as with many other things, passion can be so personally distinct for everyone, but for some people, it can be hard to manage and experience desire as we age. If you notice that your partner seems less amorous or there's a hesitancy to their advances, or none at all, it might be that the problem is more about how they are dealing with aging than it is about their feelings towards you. 

Unfortunately, it can be very difficult to broach the subject of intimacy problems. There are many stigmas around these issues that might make your partner feel a lot less for even experiencing these issues, let alone talking about them openly. This is why it's important to broach the subject carefully and gently. The end result you're looking for is to help them and strengthen the passion between you, and doing so by starting softly might be the best way to accomplish this.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez □□ on Unsplash

Be empathetic and kind

It probably goes without saying, but it is important that you show care and love when discussing your partners' issues, just as you would want them to be with you. Don't present as being frustrated by what they're lacking or in any way try to frame it as if they are failing. Letting them feel as though it's a problem that you are both experiencing, and something common and natural, is the best way. 

You should make sure that you approach from a position of wanting to deepen the connection that you both share, rather than to 'fix' something that is broken. Once you have the framing correct, you can let them know that the solution could be as simple as finding some viagra for sale UK online, then the flames of passion can ignite again with ease. Many men might even find that simply speaking about how they are feeling in the bedroom and becoming more connected to their partner and present in the moment might help them overcome their issues.

Honesty and self-reflection are important

While we would always advocate for honesty, when it comes to matters of the heart, it is even more important. If you talk to your partner honestly about how you feel and are making them an offer to open up, you are likely to get a good result out of the conversation. If you start from a place of talking about the changes you're experiencing as you age and how you feel differently than before, this can be a great way to allow them to feel like you are both in this situation together.

By showing some of your vulnerability to him, you are inviting him to see that the conversation is a safe space for him to also be vulnerable in. It also sets the stage for tackling the issue as a shared problem that you are both experiencing and want to solve together.

Normalise seeking help

A very important part of this situation is to ensure that he feels normal and good about wanting to seek help. Let him know that you won't think any less of him if he uses any performance-enhancing products, and invite him to openly discuss the options with you. You can even suggest or ask for things that you might do in order to make it feel as though you are both contributing towards finding a solution, rather than it being something that only he has agency over. 

Drawing attention to other helpful devices, like reading glasses or vitamin supplements, might be a smart way to frame the issue as well. Our bodies change in lots of ways as we age, and seeking help to feel good or perform is never shameful, merely a fact of life and part of getting older.

Make sure he knows you care for him

Regardless of how the conversation seems to go, make sure that he knows you were approaching the conversation from a place of wanting to deepen the connection you share. Letting him know different things about him that you enjoy outside of your intimate moments could be a good idea. Ensuring that he knows that what you enjoy about him is more than just the physical connection should help him feel secure and loved, regardless of what else might be going on.

Final thoughts

While in this instance we are talking about an issue that mostly affects men, aging affects all of us, and being understanding of him will hopefully mean that he will be understanding of you as well.
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Being open and loving with your partner, about intimacy and so many other things, will set you up to continue to have a deep and passionate relationship well past your mid-life and into old age. Having these tough conversations is an opportunity to deepen the connection and trust you share, and might lead to a greater depth of intimacy. Just act from love and with understanding.

Key takeaways

1. Talk gently and kind about intimacy issues
As couples get older, physical changes can affect how they feel in the bedroom. If your partner is struggling, don’t blame or pressure them. Instead, show care and talk from the heart. Treat it as a shared experience, and focus on deepening your connection, not fixing a fault.

2. Be honest and share your feelings too
Open, honest conversations make your partner feel safe. If you explain how you’re also feeling changes as you age, it helps them feel like you’re in this together. Being vulnerable shows love and encourages your partner to open up and seek help without shame.

3. Support normal use of medical help like Viagra
Let your partner know it’s okay to use support like Viagra or other treatments. It’s no different from wearing glasses or taking vitamins. Remind them that seeking help is normal and healthy, and that their worth to you is about much more than just physical intimacy.


Disclaimer: this is a collaborative post.