How to deal with divorce in your later years

Collaborative Post | While the idea of matrimony is to stay with your partner for the rest of your life, this isn’t always the case. A marriage can end for many reasons at any point, whether it’s five years or five decades since your wedding day.   

If you’ve been with your partner for a number of years and you’re considering divorce later in life, there are practical details you’ll need to consider. But it’s likely to be a highly emotional process too. Here, we take a look at the legal aspects and the financial side of this, along with how to navigate your feelings.   ​

Photo by Charlie Foster on Unsplash

Why you might be considering divorce

Divorce rates among older adults are rising significantly. There is a term for this: "grey divorce". First used in America in 2004, it refers to couples who are aged 50 and older deciding to end their marriages. These later-life divorces are continuing to trend in the US, and we’re seeing a similar pattern in the UK. Here, divorce rates among older people rose in the decade from 2004, when the term ‘grey divorce’ was first introduced, to 2014.

There are a few reasons why you might be among those considering separation later on. It may be because of empty nest syndrome, where you’ve realised that now that your children have left home, you’ve both grown apart. Or it could be due to financial issues brought about by impending retirement or other issues related to money. It could simply be that you feel you don’t have anything in common anymore.

Ultimately, the decision to part ways requires a lot of consideration.

Initial steps

Before you can properly get the legal process underway, it’s important that you discuss the divorce with your partner if you can. This is a key step, even if it’s a mutual decision, as you’ll both need to align on the finer details later so it’s worth taking the time to share your feelings and initial thoughts about how your lives will look post-divorce.

Set aside some time and find a neutral space where you can both talk through where you’ll both live, how you’ll share assets and make allowances for your new financial setup. While this depends on the relationship you have with your ex, it can be good to have these conversations before seeking legal advice.  ​

Financial considerations

​How your finances look and the division of your assets collected over decades are frequently the biggest hurdles to overcome in any divorce. However, while younger couples have time ahead of them to recover, older individuals are less likely to have the years ahead to come back financially from this part of the divorce process.

Unless you signed a prenuptial agreement – where you’ll have agreed before your wedding how your assets will be divided in the event of divorce – you must decide how things are planned for and shared out. These include things like properties, investments, and pensions.
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Also, retirement planning is a concern as divorce can alter your plans for life after work. You might have to make accommodations to account for the change in your financial setup.

Legal considerations

In terms of finances, the division of property in England and Wales is based on principles of fairness. It looks at your marriage, the contributions you’ve both made and your financial needs in the future. This can be complicated, especially when trying to establish the details of a long marriage.

Spousal support is a key consideration. Courts may award maintenance to avoid any hardship post-divorce. Retirement accounts, including pensions, are also looked at from a legal standpoint.

As well as the legalities around money and assets, the divorce process itself involves several stages and these depend on whether you’re a sole applicant or applying jointly. In England and Wales, ‘no-fault’ divorces are now allowed, so this can remove some of the acrimony from the process.

Speaking to knowledgeable divorce financial settlement solicitors means that you’ll be in a good place during this process. They can help you establish what you’re entitled to so you can set your expectations.

​Acknowledging your feelings

Divorce can affect your mental wellbeing and leave you feeling drained – and this is the case at any age. You may have complicated emotions about your ex and then there are other feelings, such as loneliness and isolation.

Whatever you’re feeling right now is to be expected. Take the time to be kind to yourself. Seek support from friends and family. If you feel you need to, you could access therapy and support services.

Even if your divorce is relatively straightforward and you’re in a good place with your ex, it’s understandable that it will take some time for you to adjust. Be kind to yourself.


Disclaimer: this is a collaborative post