How to calm your mind from overthinking | tackling my midlife stress, overwhelm and poor sleep

Stress is something we all experience, but during midlife, it can feel more overwhelming than ever. Between juggling responsibilities, changes in our bodies, and the unpredictability of daily life, chronic stress can take a real toll especially during menopause. Hormonal fluctuations can heighten our response to stressful situations, making anxiety, irritability, and poor sleep even harder to manage.

I've been really struggling with overwhelm and stress for a while now, I just feel like I have too much on but I am not sure what needs to go, everything I am juggling in my daily routine feels important!  But sleepless nights, feeling constantly on edge, and struggling to switch off are affecting my wellbeing, I'm exhausted and maybe even a bit burnt out.  Can you relate?

I’m learning that managing stress isn’t about eliminating it completely - some stress is good for us - but finding ways to navigate it with more ease is vital.

As it is Stress Awareness Month in April I thought I'd talk more about my experience and what I am doing to try and get life back under control and find my calm again.  Stress Awareness Month aims to raise awareness of stress, what causes it and what are the best coping mechanisms, and most importantly to encourage open conversations and promote self-care.  Stress can have a huge impact on our mental, emotional and physical health and finding strategies to manage it must be our priority before it really takes a serious toll on us - leading to conditions like anxiety, depression and heart disease.

This is a gifted collaboration.
Get 20% off at Aery using my code below.

My favourites, I love having daffodils in the house in spring!

Why are we all so stressed!?

Mental exhaustion, a rubbish work-life balance, and a busy personal life,  emotional exhaustion is taking over.  It didn't used to be like this, yes I have always been busy but why have my stress levels increased so much in recent years? Hormones yes but it is more than that.  I hate to keep going back to this but so much changed during the pandemic.  Not just for me personally but for society as a whole.  It changed life in ways we could never have imagined, those first few weeks, even months, seem like so much fun now!  But it all had such a negative impact, people seem way busier, more stressed and far less tolerant, but also less considerate of each other, there is more traffic on the road, work hours are all over the place, and I really don't think that the working from home culture has done anything positive for our personal relationships.  Office based jobs used to be our support systems but we are now missing out on mentoring and learning from others.  The lifestyle changes have been significant.  There is a pressure to 'catch-up' on lost time and the result feels like an always-on culture, with work, social commitments and daily demands even more intense.  Why did we not learn anything for lockdown days?  We slowed down, and appreciated the slower pace - but now there is a sense that patience has worn thin and the simple joys of slowing down have been lost.

Then there is social media and phone addiction!  I thought I was addicted before, but it has got far worse.  A friend sent me a reel this week. about perfectionism, the perfectly curated aesthetic we are presented with every minute of every day. It makes us feel inadequate.  I watch it sometimes I think 'really, are they really living that perfect life, not a hair out of place, immaculate make-up, the latest fashion, the perfect interior designed house'. We feel rubbish about ourselves afer we have consumed it all.  I chatted with my friend and we both agreed it makes us feel that the content we put out on our grid isn't good enough, when did Instagram become simply a marketing platform designed to sell to us constantly?  It used to be a photo sharing app where we could go and see lovely pictures of beautiful views, see what our friends were getting up to, or get ideas on how to style an outfit, but it felt real, not the advertising platform it is now where if we want to know where her jacket is from we have to click loads of links to find out! 

Finding balance has never been more important!

And  the first step in tackling my stress levels is to accept something needs to change.

But nothing is simple anymore ... from online shopping (and post office queues to return everything) to complicated helplines, automated services to endless packaging and recycling (see online shopping) ... self-service tills, banking apps, chat bots. they are all meant to save us time but actually just create a lot of stress!  I hate them all and yet they are unavoidable.  Shops don't carry the choice of stock or sizing, banks only want you to use their online services, you can never speak to a human without pressing 1, 5, 10 or whatever menu of numbers they have (and I never listen properly and end up having to redial)!

Enough moaning, what can we do about it!?  It's time to relax my nervous system, get enough sleep and get rid of these pesky symptoms of stress!

Bonnie in her favourite sunny spot (no she isn't really allowed to sit there)!

Constant 'fight or flight' mode

Having too much cortisol, often called the "stress hormone," can be a sign of chronic stress and negatively impact both mental and physical health. While cortisol is essential for managing stress in short bursts, consistently high levels can lead to anxiety, fatigue, high blood pressure, weight gain (especially around the abdomen), and difficulty sleeping. It can also weaken the immune system and disrupt digestion. Long-term cortisol imbalance keeps the body in a constant state of fight-or-flight, making it harder to relax and recover. Managing stress through lifestyle changes like exercise, sleep, and mindfulness can help regulate cortisol levels and improve overall well-being.

Relaxation techniques for stress

Here are a few relaxation techniques I am trying to help lower my stress levels:

1. Deep breathing (diaphragmatic breathing) – slow, deep breaths help calm the nervous system. Try inhaling for four counts, holding for four, and exhaling for six.
2. Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR) – tense and relax different muscle groups to release tension and promote body awareness.
3. Mindfulness meditation – focusing on the present moment can reduce stress and overthinking. Apps like Headspace or Calm can guide you.
4. Gentle movement (yoga or walking) – stretching or a mindful walk outdoors can clear your mind and relax your body.
5. Aromatherapy and soothing rituals – scents like lavender and chamomile, combined with warm baths or cosy lighting, can signal your brain to unwind.

Exercise for stress relief

I do strength training twice a week, and walk daily or at least every other day (weather dependent) but these are all good exercises to consider for stress relief:

1. Walking (especially in nature) – a simple, low-impact way to clear your mind, boost mood, and reduce cortisol levels. Walking outdoors, particularly in green spaces, enhances the calming effect.
2. Yoga – combines movement, deep breathing, and mindfulness to release tension and improve relaxation. Gentle styles like Hatha or Yin yoga are particularly effective for stress relief.
3. Strength training – lifting weights or doing bodyweight exercises like squats and push-ups can help burn off stress, improve resilience, and boost endorphins.
4. Swimming – the rhythmic nature of swimming, combined with the soothing effect of water, can be incredibly calming while still providing a full-body workout.
5. Dancing – whether it's a structured dance class or just moving to your favorite music at home, dancing helps release tension, improve mood, and provide a fun escape from daily stressors.

Hobbies for stress relief

I worry I don't have any hobbies so my goal this year is to find some!  Blogging was my hobby, it still is - I love to write when I am feeling stressed - but it has also become a job so sometimes it can feel a bit too pressured.

1. Padel – a fun and social sport that combines elements of tennis and squash. It’s a great way to stay active, release endorphins, and focus your mind on the game rather than daily stress.
2. Gardening – spending time with plants, whether growing flowers or vegetables, can be incredibly grounding and therapeutic. The fresh air and hands-on nature of gardening help lower stress levels.
3. Creative arts (painting, drawing or crafting) – engaging in creative activities can be meditative and help shift your focus away from worries. It’s also a great way to express emotions in a healthy way.
4. Reading – whether it’s fiction, self-help, or a travel book, reading allows you to escape into a different world, slow down, and relax your mind.
5. Cooking or baking – preparing meals from scratch can be both rewarding and soothing. The rhythmic motions of chopping, stirring, and baking can help you feel more present and in control.

Other stress busting actions to consider

Social support - talking to friends really helps me process my feelings, gain perspective and feel less alone when I am having a difficult day.  Joining the Thrive Monthly Membership with Chloe Leibowitz Coaching has been very positive for me, it is a membership group that gives me the tools, tips, support and accountability I need to take back control of my life and it is really helping with building resilience.  I am taking back control of what I can control and letting go of what I can't!  Chloe shares easy ways to make improvements in all areas of your life and the group members are super-supportive of each other.

Time blocking - one of the tips I have learnt from the Thrive group is how time blocking helps reduce stress by providing structure and clarity to my day, preventing overwhelm and last-minute rushing. By allocating specific time slots for my tasks, breaks, and personal activities, I am able to create a realistic schedule that promotes focus and productivity. This method also helps set boundaries, ensuring that important tasks get done while leaving room for rest and self-care. Knowing exactly what to expect from your day can ease anxiety and create a sense of control, making it easier to manage stress and maintain a balanced lifestyle.

Healthy diet - making sure I keep to a healthy diet is a priority, I need to provide my body with the essential nutrients that support brain function, mood stability, and energy levels. Foods rich in omega-3 fatty acids, magnesium, and B vitamins, such as salmon, leafy greens, and nuts, can help regulate cortisol, the stress hormone. A balanced diet also stabilises blood sugar levels, preventing energy crashes and irritability. Additionally, gut health plays a key role in mental wellbeing, as the gut produces neurotransmitters like serotonin, which influence mood. Eating nutritious, whole foods can improve resilience to stress and promote overall wellbeing.

Set clear boundaries - having clear boundaries is crucial for stress management because they help protect your time, energy, and emotional wellbeing. When you set limits, whether in work, relationships, or personal commitments, you create space for self care and reduce the risk of burnout. Clear boundaries ensure that you prioritise what truly matters and avoid overloading yourself with obligations that cause unnecessary stress. They also help you communicate your needs effectively, leading to healthier interactions and greater respect from others (especially family members). By respecting your own boundaries, you maintain a sense of control and reduce the feeling of being overwhelmed.

Create space for self care - I like nothing more than having a hot bath after dinner and relaxing with a scented candle and using my favourite body wash and beauty products for my face and body.  Then I light a relaxing candle to help me unwind while i watch TV or read a book in bed.  

Create a calming atmosphere with a candle from Aery Living

Relax, unwind and sleep with Aery Living

Aery is one of my favourite brands, my daughter introduced me to them a few years ago, Aery are passionate about creating moments of calm with their beautiful scented and sustainable home fragrances.  You can unwind, relax and prioritise your wellbeing by choosing from the Aery stress-relief range. 

Relax & Unwind will create the perfect calming atmosphere and help relieve stress at any time of the day!

Better Sleep is designed to help you wind down and improve sleep by creating a restful environment.

I tried three beautiful products from Aery’s stress-relief range, and I absolutely loved them. The packaging is elegant and perfect for gifting.  The products are high-quality and designed to complement any home. If you’re looking for a little everyday luxury to help you unwind, these are perfect.

Himalayan Cedarleaf Triple Wick Candle
This stunning soy candle comes in a stylish, reusable ceramic jar and fills the room with a warm, grounding scent, with notes of lemon, patchouli, and cedar,, that instantly calms. Whether you're curling up with a book or running a bath, this candle creates the perfect relaxing atmosphere.

Dream Catcher Scented Candle – Lavender, Patchouli & Orange
Soft, soothing, and perfect for winding down, this candle is like a warm embrace at the end of a long day. Blending lavender, patchouli, and a touch of citrusy orange, it helps create a peaceful space to ease you into sleep.
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Dream Catcher Hand and Body Wash – Lavender, Patchouli & Orange
This nourishing, plant-based wash is a treat for both your skin and senses. Packed with vitamin E and enriched with mangosteen and pomegranate extracts, it gently cleanses while leaving skin soft and refreshed. The calming lavender and patchouli scent lingers just enough to help you relax before bed, making it the perfect addition to your evening self-care ritual. Plus, the lightweight aluminum bottle is not only chic but also fully recyclable, making it a more sustainable choice.

For 20% off your own relaxing self-care routine at Aery, use my code FIFTYANDFAB20 throughout April 2025.

The sleep range from Aery Living is perfect for bathtime and bedtime!

Long-term changes are essential. I've tried many things in the past but always seem to end up back under constant pressure. However, joining Thrive with Chloe has made a real difference. Taking small steps, one at a time, has helped me start and stick to a stress management plan that actually feels sustainable.

I've hit breaking point more times than I can count in the past few years, and I sometimes wonder how much more I can take. But I'm making a conscious effort to focus on gratitude. When I hear what others are going through, it reminds me just how much I have to be thankful for.

Sending an extra hug to anyone who needs it.

Love from
Michelle xx


Disclaimer: this is a gifted collaboration with Aery Living.

A walk is always a good stress-reliever!

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