Rebuilding my health and confidence | HRT at 60, fitness, mood and feeling like myself again

When I shared my six-month countdown to 60 back in June, I divided the next stage of my life into five areas that felt important to me. Health and energy came first, followed closely by confidence and body.

Because however much I want to travel, wear fabulous clothes, say yes to new experiences and make the most of this next chapter, all of those things feel so much harder when I am tired, anxious or simply not feeling like myself.

I knew I wanted to feel stronger and more confident before I turned 60, but I also knew I didn't want to spend six months chasing an unrealistic transformation.  This isn't about trying to relaunch myself, look younger or force myself in a smaller dress size. It is about looking after myself properly and getting back some of the energy, motivation and confidence that has been missing for a few years.

I'm now three months into my countdown - approaching the halfway point - so I thought it was time for an update on what has been helping, what I am learning and why improving my health has involved much more than eating less and exercising more.

My coaching with Alice has been gifted, but there was no obligation to write this post and all thoughts and experiences are my own.

Realising I hadn't felt like myself for a while

There isn't one dramatic moment when you realise something needs to change. It can be a gradual feeling that you are not quite yourself.

For me, it was a mixture of low energy, poor sleep, anxiety and a lack of motivation. I was still getting on with life, working, looking after everyone and sharing plenty of positive moments, but underneath it all I felt as though my usual spark had disappeared a little.

There has been a lot going on over the last few years. My mum has advanced Alzheimer's, my dad is getting older and needs more support and, like so many women at this stage of life, I often feel as though I am juggling the needs of several generations while trying not to lose myself in the middle of it all.  

And menopause added another layer. When your hormones, mood, sleep and confidence are all affected at the same time, it can be difficult to separate one thing from another. It is also very easy to blame yourself and decide that you have become lazy, undisciplined or less capable, when actually your body and mind may need more support.

Getting my HRT right has made a real difference

​My HRT journey has not been completely straightforward. I have tried different types and methods over the years and it has taken time, specialist advice and quite a lot of trial and error to find what works best for me.

I now have oestrogen implants and, after struggling with progesterone intolerance, I have found a form of progesterone that I can tolerate. That has made a positive difference to my sleep, which in turn affects almost everything else.

When I sleep better, I have more energy to exercise, I make more considered food choices and I cope better with the everyday stresses of life. I am less likely to feel overwhelmed by something small and more likely to want to get out, see people and enjoy myself.

Getting my HRT right hasn't magically solved everything. HRT isn't a cure for every difficult feeling or every problem that comes with midlife. But for me, having the right hormonal support has provided a much stronger foundation from which to look after the rest of my health.

This is, of course, my personal experience. HRT needs to be discussed with a suitably qualified healthcare professional and what suits one woman may not suit another. But I do believe women deserve to be listened to, given accurate information and supported in finding the right option for them.

My HRT specialist recommendations (and a special offer can be found on this link) and if you'd like to read more about my own HRT journey then please visit this blog post.

​Accepting support for my mood

Another important part of feeling more like myself has been accepting that a low-dose antidepressant is one of the things that currently supports me.

I have been honest about the fact that I take escitalopram, although initially I did feel some resistance to it. I wondered whether I should be able to manage without it, particularly once my HRT was working better.  I was very lucky to be able to see a private GP which gave me time and space to chat it all over.

But mental wellbeing is rarely that simple. HRT and antidepressants are not necessarily an either/or choice and taking medication does not mean I have failed or that I am not coping. My life contains genuine pressures and worries, as well as hormonal changes, and I no longer feel ashamed of using the support that helps me feel steadier and more able to manage them.

My mood feels brighter now. I still worry and I still have difficult days, particularly when family life feels full on, but I am more resilient. There is a little more space between something happening and me feeling completely overwhelmed by it.

Feeling healthy isn't only about what the scales say, how far I can walk or how my clothes fit. My emotional health is every bit as important.

Why I decided to work with a health coach

In June, I started working with Alice Young, an online weight loss and mindset coach. I knew I didn't want another strict diet or a dramatic exercise plan. I have done those before and, while they can work for a while, they are much harder to maintain when real life becomes busy or stressful.

What I needed was accountability, guidance and someone to help me make sensible decisions without expecting perfection.

In practical terms, I am losing weight through a simple calorie deficit, with my choices guided by Alice’s food swaps app. I start the day with a protein-rich breakfast, usually porridge (with walnuts, fruit and greek yoghurt), granola (with greek yoghurt and fruit) or eggs, followed by a simple lunch of a granary roll with a protein filling. My snacks are usually from Nosh Snack and dinner is often a Gousto meal, choosing options that come in at under 500 calories per portion. It is fairly straightforward, everyday food, which makes it much easier to stick with. I am not cutting out whole food groups or making separate meals, just being more thoughtful about my choices and portions.

Each week I check in with Alice and if I have a lunch, dinner or social occasion planned, we can look at the menu together and decide what might be a good choice to keep me at maintenance calories.

There is no sense that I have to avoid meals out, holidays or celebrations. That would defeat the object of my year of saying yes! Instead, I am learning how to make those occasions part of a balanced life.

The accountability has been especially helpful. Knowing that I will check in each week encourages me to be honest about what has gone well and where I have struggled. It isn't about being told off. It is about noticing patterns, making adjustments and remembering why I started.

Without the support, I suspect I might have given up during one of the more difficult weeks. Coaching has helped me understand that a setback doesn't have to stop the whole process.

Finding consistency and noticing the difference

The last few months have included holidays, lots of socialising and worry around my dad's health. My routine has inevitably been interrupted and there have been weeks when food and fitness could not be my main focus.

Previously, I might have seen that as failure and decided I needed to start again on Monday, next month or after the next holiday.  Or worse, why bother at all?

This time I am trying to look at it differently, life is rarely perfect.

The progress is that I now return to my usual habits when I can. One meal doesn't undo a week of good choices. A holiday doesn't erase the strength I have built. Missing a workout because my family needs me doesn't mean I have lost all motivation.

Consistency isn't doing everything perfectly every day. It is keeping the basic promises I have made to myself often enough that they begin to make a difference.

I have lost some weight, but the biggest difference is how I feel. I am less bloated, feel generally slimmer and my clothes are more comfortable. The scales haven’t always moved as quickly as I would like, but those everyday changes remind me that I am making progress, even when the number doesn’t quite reflect it.

And whilst I would still like to lose a few pounds, part of this journey is also about body acceptance and learning to be happy with my nearly 60-year-old figure. I want to feel healthy and comfortable in my clothes, but I am not planning to be so strict with my food that I miss out on the fun, or the wine! Enjoying meals out, holidays and time with the people I love is super important to me. I want to look after my body and appreciate it, not spend my birthday year picking it apart.

Building back my strength and energy

I have continued with my snackable personal training sessions online twice a week and I walk whenever I can. I am not training for an endurance event and I don't want exercise to take over my life. I want to maintain muscle, protect my bones and heart, improve my balance and feel capable in my body as I get older.

At nearly 60, my reasons for exercising have changed. Of course I still care about how I look and I make no apology for wanting to feel good in a bikini or in my clothes. But I also think much more about staying independent, being able to travel, walking comfortably and having the strength and energy to enjoy the years ahead.

My PT sessions don't need to be long to be worthwhile. A realistic workout that I actually complete is far more useful than an ambitious plan that I put off.
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As my sleep and mood have improved and I have become more consistent with food and movement, my energy has started to return too. I don't leap out of bed feeling fabulous every morning, but I do feel more able to make plans and less likely to say no simply because everything feels like too much effort.

Feeling like myself again

I don't feel as though everything is magically sorted. There will still be tired days, family worries, changes of plan and times when looking after myself slips down the list.

But I do feel more like me again. My mood is brighter and my energy is improving. I feel stronger and more comfortable in my clothes. Most importantly, I feel hopeful and excited about the plans I have made for my 60th birthday celebrations.

It hasn't been one dramatic change that brought me here. It has been the combination of getting my HRT right, accepting support for my mental health, sleeping better, working with Alice, moving my body and learning that consistency can include flexibility.

When I started thinking about rebuilding my confidence, I assumed much of it would come from changing how I looked. In reality, it has started with taking better care of how I feel.

I am not trying to become the woman I was at 40 or even 50. I want to feel like the best and most honest version of the woman I am now, with all the experience, responsibilities, wrinkles, wobbles and wisdom that come with nearly 60 years of living.

And perhaps that is what this countdown is really about. Not racing towards a perfect result by my birthday, but building habits and accepting support that will help me feel well, confident and fully myself at 60 and beyond.

Have you ever realised that you haven't felt quite like yourself for a while? What helped you begin to find your way back?
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Love from
Michelle xx

See more on my Instagram post!
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Disclaimer: my coaching with Alice has been gifted to me, I was under no obligation to write this blog post, my recommendations are entirely personal.
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This post shares my personal experience and is not medical advice. Please speak to an appropriately qualified healthcare professional about HRT, antidepressants or any concerns about your physical or mental health.